THE HOTEL UTAH - SAN FRANCISCO

As a more with-it Brigham Young might have put it, "This is the place . . . to hear Bay Area bands!"

Don't let the name fool you; the Hotel Utah offers plenty in the way of decadent entertainment, the likes of which might land you in a Salt Lake City jail cell. The building is a funky old Victorian hotel and features incongruous bits of nautical memorabilia and a split-level stage area complete with a balcony for aspiring Emperors and Empresses of Hip.

The Utah is located on the corner of 4th St. and Bryant St. in San Francisco, a mere hubcap's bounce away from I-80. However, unless you're planning on partying like a Mormon, the Lushes for Public Transport urge you to avoid an unfortunate run-in with San Francisco's finest by availing your drunken self of The City's extensive public transportation infrastructure.

BART

From Powell Station, walk 5 city blocks southeast (to your right if you stand on Market and face the Embarcadero) along 4th St. to Bryant St. (about 12 minutes total). This map of the area may prove useful. For fares and schedules, you may consult this interactive BART map.

If you see a 30-Stockton or 45-Union Muni bus on 4th, you can hop on to spare yourself some walking. (Note that on the return trip, these buses run on 3rd, not 4th; see the Muni section below for more bus information.)

AC Transit (East Bay)

Take any Transbay Bus (these maps should help you find the nearest line) to the Transbay Terminal. From there, walk 3 city blocks southwest (that's left as you exit the front of the terminal) along Mission St. to 4th St., then turn left and walk 4 city blocks southeast along 4th St. to Bryant St. (about 20 minutes total).

If you find the walk daunting, there are often cabs available at the terminal; however, after a couple of beers it won't seem nearly so long. If you're lucky, you might shave off a portion of your trip by opportunistically hopping a 14-Mission, 30-Stockton, 45-Union, or 91-Owl; consult this map for the lay of the land in the terminal area, and the Muni section below for more local bus information.

Transbay fares are $2.50. Be sure to check the schedule, especially if you're unfamiliar with a particular line.

San Francisco Muni

Your best bus bets for the Utah are the 30-Stockton and the 45-Union, which run southwest on 4th St.

Buses running in the opposite direction operate on 3rd St., a block northeast of 4th.

All-night service is provided by the 91-Owl, which follows the 30-Stockton's route in this part of town.

Fares are $1.00, and whatever route you choose, be sure to check the schedule if you're not familiar with the line. This Muni map of the Utah vicinity may also prove useful.

Wishing you all the wooziest station staggering and strap swaying, Lushes for Public Transport