33 Cents

CHORUS:

My roommate hates the U.S. Mail
My roommate hates the U.S. Mail
They always deliver without fail
But still my roommate hates the U.S. Mail

Could it be all those catalogs that he gets
With ceramic frogs and the sweaters for pets
They try to sell bracelets that unleash your power
And radios that work in the shower

Could it be all those overdue bills
For the trips to Taiwan and the cheap, cheap thrills
The stay at the Ritz, the dinner in the Hague
The doctors who cured you of that unsightly plague

CHORUS

Could it be those shiny magazines,
Filled with supermodels leaning on shiny machines
The articles and the color spreads
Saying how sex is better on a four-poster bed

Could it be all those love letters he gets
Something about scratching of nails and heaving of chests
Your eyeballs itch as they fill the room
With the tawdry scent of some cheap perfume

CHORUS